A Simple Truth About Happiness
After I gave a talk on the subject of happiness, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "I wish my husband had come." "Much as I loved him," she explained, "it was not easy being married to someone so unhappy." This woman enabled me to put into words what I had been searching for-altruistic, as well as the personal, reasons for taking happiness seriously. I told her that each of us owes it to our spouse, our children, our friends and even our dofus kamas game world partners to be as happy as we can.
I was not a particularly happy child, and like most teenagers, I took pleasure in my anguish. One day, however, it occurred to me that I was taking the easy way out. Anyone could be happy; it took no courage and effort. True achievement lay in struggling to be people. We assume it is a feeling that comes as a result of good things that just happen to us, things over which we have little or no control. But the opposite is true: happiness is largely under our control. It is a better to be fought and not a feeling to be awaited. To achieve a happy life, it is necessary to overcome some stumbling blocks, three of which are:
Comparison with others most of us compare ourselves with anyone we think is happier-a relative, an acquaintance or, often someone we barely know. Especially in the game world, when we met someone that we thought he or she was more happy than us, and even think they have lots of kamas than us.
I once met a young man who struck me as particularly successful and happy. He spoke of his love for his beautiful wife and their three daughters, and of his joy at being a radio talk-show host in a city he loved. I remember thinking that he was one of those lucky few for whom everything goes effortlessly right. Then we started talking about the Internet and the games and also cheap kamas. He blessed its existence, he told me, because he could look up information on multiple sclerosis-the terrible disease afflicting his wife. I felt like a fool for assuming nothing unhappy existed in his life. But to the contrary, they were so happy and he has two lovely daughters, and one beautiful wife, for his wife could not move any more, so that he always played games with her, and taught her how to earn much dofus gold from other players.
We all know people who have had a relatively easy life yet are essentially unhappy. And we know people who have suffered a great deal but generally remain happy. The first secret is gratitude. All happy people are grateful. The man loved her wife so he made her happy, the wife were grateful so sometimes she buy dofus kamas for the man. Ungrateful people can not be happy. We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to complain, but it is truer to say that complaining leads to people becoming unhappy. The second secret is realizing that happiness is a byproduct of something else. Finally, the belief that something permanent transcends us and that our existence has some larger meaning can help us happier.