This letter was sent this morning to the leaders of the World of Twelve and it is to be taken very seriously indeed.
It is not a ridiculous hoax as was first believed by our previous editor (who died this morning in mysterious and violent circumstances). Goultard the Barbarian is back!
Many people are already preparing to participate in his tournament.
Everyone else is changing their mind by the minute.
My name is Goultard the Barbarian. You've definitely heard of me... I'm a big star!
Not so long ago, I was killing time between two massacres when an idea came to me. I decided to organize an inter-dimensional tournament! The kind of tournament that would make your stomach churn, spin, crack, bump, break, rip and spray out in all directions!
The rules are simple:
- Select the bravest disciples of each of the 12 gods. Choose well, I don't want any cry-babies! Find me thugs, with big arms! I want strong ones who still have blood in their veins!
- Send me these 12 warriors on 3 Frauguctor 639 and I'll put them to the test.
Be on time, if you want to live! Do not underestimate my wrath. If you anger me, I will reduce everything you hold dear to ashes.
But enough of the threats! I might be the most powerful guy in the world but I still appreciate talent when I see it! If the show is entertaining, we can forget all about the fire and destruction... plus I'll give the winners a hefty prize.
That's it. So find your heroes. Gather the best warriors you have, and make sure they understand that this will be the biggest battle of their lives... GOULTARMINATOR!
I will present the rules of the tournament on 31 Jullier 639 when your heroes have been selected!"